| SAVAGES | |
| FADE IN: | |
| INT. BEN: WE CAN'T GET AWAY WITH THIS AGAIN SHON - DAY |
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| (ben throws up on the side of the bush) |
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| (shon pulls out a joint and offers it to ben) |
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| (Bne and shon move in towards the shed that ophelia is being held captive, where they are confronted by a wave of cartel members) |
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| (close ups of cartel members being shot in slow motion) |
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(interrupted abruptly by a gun shot to the head)
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| (as lado slowly dies, he whispers: she knows, he knows... we all know) |
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| (ben and shon run in the direction of the screams coming from ophelia, fending off cartel members on the way, showing a tracking shot slow motion as they run to her aid. |
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| (standing in front of ophelia who is tied up.) |
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(magda cackles and reaches for her gun)
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| (Magda quickly draws her gun, and pulls the trigger on ben. a slow motion close up tracking shot is shown on the bullet, displaying the flight path of the bullet, and then slows down even more when penetrating the head of ben. Ben then slowly drops to his knees and folds like a deck chair) |
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3.
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| The camera cuts to a medium close up of shon, as he reachers for a knife in his pocket. he gets out the knife and throws it towards magda when again the camera uses a close up slow motion tracking shot of the spiralling knife in flight and it penetrates the heart of magda. The shot then carries out
to shon pulling his gun in slow motion and quickly cuts to
ben shooting off the remaining cartel members.
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FADE OUT. | |
Although you have completed the actual task and produced a script and 9 images, this is all very confusing for the assessor - without the 1 paragraph anotation for each of your images it is impossible to understand how these relate to either the script of your study. You must recognise that at this level it is your responsibility to make sure your work is of sufficient quality and care - you have been given exemplars to help you from last years students to model how you get the marks.
ReplyDeleteYour priorities are as follows:
1. Address the apparent lack of care concerning regularity of grammatical errors like using captial letters on names, and there are spelling mistakes that have not been spellchecked.
2. There needs to be clarification of how this artefact explores your macro - from this it is unclear whether this is narrative, style, representation? Again very confusing as to what this is rooted in - best guess is masculinity? Annotation needs to be present as with previous student examples you have been shown.
I thought we had agreed this was a style study which did NOT glorify the violence and showed the consequences, or is it a narrative study in that the storyteller is dead?
3. The images are clearly not suitable. You have INT which means internal and it is all outside for a start. Locations need to be found as with previous student examples you have been shown.
4. Costumes and the main prop associated with the film - the masks - are not present.
Costumes and props need to be found as with previous student examples you have been shown.
Current grade E1